Strip Weathers Breaks the Time Machine!
by DannyAndIsaac
Summary: First story in my quest to make stupid fanfiction about things. In this story, Strip "The King" Weathers from Cars obtains a time machine and partakes in time shenanigans. This is not to be taken in any serious capacity. All comments/hate/whatever welcome! Enjoy!
1. Chapter the First: Aw Jeezus

Chapter the First: Aw Jeezus Another Bad Cars Fanfic

The year was 2018. It was another generic day in the Dinoco Racing and Speed development headquarters. Cars were racing hither and thither, doing important speed things. Strip never truly understood all of the science that went into racing, but he respected those who worked on it. Strip had been retired for a good 12 years now, and was enjoying his time away from the track. He occasionally visited the old development lab to check up on how Dinoco was doing. His VIP (VIC?) access got him just about wherever he wanted to be.

Today, he felt rather adventurous, and decided to have a peek around the top secret development section. When visiting the top secret development section, he was told off by a security SUV,

"Sorry, Mr. The King," said the SUV, "but even you can't go in here".

So, Strip, being the typical responsible role-model that he was, politely apologise to the SUV for bothering him, and decided to snoop around in the medium secret development section instead.

The medium secret development section was a large warehouse on the far side of the Dinoco R&S development centre. The door to the the warehouse was unlocked, and the security SUV let Strip in.

"I don't know what you expect to find in there, Mr. The King," said the SUV, "The medium secret project was abandoned after Dinoco leadership decided it wasn't secret enough. It's just old boxes in there".

Seeing that his boring-sounding description of the of the medium secret section wasn't going to discourage Strip, he quieted down and let the racing legend enjoy his self-guided tour.

Strip entered the giant warehouse, and was greeted by a bunch of old dusty boxes; just like the SUV said (if you want a proper idea of what this place looks like, think of the warehouse from the beginning of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). Strip drove around and read out the labels on some of the boxes to himself:

"'SpiderMan 3', 'Cars 2 props', 'Scientology', 'Scripts for Cars remakes of all other Pixar movies', 'Despacito', 'Meme Archives', 'Proof that Tangled was better than Lion King', 'The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift'", Strip stopped himself. Clearly everything in here was rubbish created by a crazy person. How disappointing.

While on his way out, one last box caught Strip's attention; "Time Machine". Strip, in spite of his better judgement, decide to have a look inside of the box. Inside of the box, he found the Mr. Fusion from Back to the Future. Suddenly, the Mr. Fusion floated into the air, landed on Strip, and attached itself to his roof.

"What in the world?!", exclaimed Strip. He jerked around violently to attempt to remove the fiendish contraption. He zoomed out of the warehouse, still trying to shake off the Mr. Fusion. While he didn't realize this at the time (since Strip Weathers hadn't yet watched the Back to the Future Movies), "zooming" out of the warehouse was a rather foolish move, as a Plymouth Superbird, the type of car Strip is, is easily able to reach the 88 mph minimum to activate the Mr. Fusion.

Sparks enveloped Strip, and he was thrust somewhere (somewhen?) else in time. Like the Delorean from Back to the Future, Strip left little flame trails where his wheels were.


	2. Chapter 2 Electric Boogaloo

Chapter 2 Electric Boogaloo: 'The King' of England

The year was 1157. When Strip landed, he was dazed and confused.

"Wha- what happened?" he wondered to himself. Strip soon realized that he was in a wheat field, and he decided to search for help.

"A farm's gotta have farmers, don't it?", he thought, "perhaps they can help me".

Strip eventually happened upon a small house with thatched roofing. Out in front of the house was a Ford Model A. Strip cautiously approached the old car and spoke to it.

"'Scuse me," he said in a polite tone, "I was wondering if you could tell me where I might be?".

"Why, this is Oxford, England!", replied the surprisingly literate peasant car, "Why do you ask, stranger? Don't you know where you are?"

"Er, no", Strip said. He then remembered the fact that he had a time machine strapped to his back.

"What year is it?", Strip asked.

"1157", responded the Model-A, "Who _are_ you?".

Before Strip could answer, he heard a large screeching noise overhead. He looked up to see a dragon! Since all living things in the Cars universe are vehicles of some description, the dragon wasn't a dragon as much as it was a huge-ass airplane. The dragon flew into downtown Oxford, and started spitting fire everywhere (as dragons do). Strip was shocked by this latest development; actual medieval England was nothing like 7th grade history class said it was! There wasn't much he could do, so Strip just sat and watched the fire with the Model-A. The Model-A did not seem especially concerned with Oxford going up in smoke.

"Yep, same shite as always", said the old car, "That dragon always goes and burns the town. This is nothing out of the ordinary, stranger."

"Well, why?", asked Strip. The Model-A shrugged. Then the dragon, satisfied with the destruction it had wrought, flew away back towards the farm. The dragon then noticed the bright blue racecar in the yellow field, and decided to destroy that too.

Strip saw the dragon flying directly towards him, and quickly dove out of the way. The dragon, being a hulking, clumsy beast, crashed nose-first into the ground. The dragon stopped moving after impact. The Model-A rolled over to the dragon and poked at it a couple times. The dragon was dead. The Model-A beamed with delight at the death of the fearsome beast, and thanked Strip for killing it. Strip didn't actually try to kill the dragon, but he was happy to have helped.

Strip decided that it was high time he tried to return to the future. He easily reached the 88 mph necessary to travel through time. Sparks enveloped Strip, and he was thrust somewhere (somewhen?) else in time. Like the Delorean from Back to the Future, Strip left little flame trails where his wheels were.


	3. Chapter The Threequel

Chapter the Threequel: Space 'Race'

The year was (will be?) 2125. Unfortunately, Strip didn't have the faintest idea of how to operate the Mr. Fusion, and he found himself in the far future. What an idiot. He found himself floating helplessly in space. This would have been a tragic circumstance for a human, but, as Elon Musk has taught us, cars are perfectly fine in space. Well I say "perfectly fine", Strip was not able to control his movement, or anything else about his situation.

Suddenly, Strip was enveloped in a green light. He looked up to see that a flying saucer had caught him in a tractor beam! The glowing light pull him up into the spaceship.

Inside the spaceship, Strip found himself in a large, rectangular, and mostly empty room. The walls and floor were a dark metallic gray color and covered with green tron lines. The room, for some reason, also had gravity like Earth's (rather strange a ship out in space and away from any planets). Strip, not liking this situation one bit, thought it would be a good idea to time-jump away. He lined himself up on the back wall of the room, and charged at the opposite wall. About three quarters of the way across the room, Strip reached the 88 mph required for time travel, and then realized that he wasn't traveling through time. The Mr. Fusion was missing! Strip slammed on his brakes, and came to a stop only inches from the wall in front of him.

A search of the room revealed no trace of the time machine. If the time machine wasn't in the room, Strip would need to look for it out of the room. The only trouble was, there didn't seem to be a way out of the room; all of the walls were without any visible doors. Seemingly at a deadend with his escape, Strip decided to sit still and wait for an opportunity to present itself.

After an hour of sitting and waiting, a section of one of the walls molded itself into a door and opened. Strip was amazed by the strange shifting wall, but he was a little apprehensive about going through the strange door that seemingly created itself. The rest of the walls in the room, as if to give Strip encouragement to leave, started rapidly closing in around him. Strip fled the room and into the hallway beyond the door.

The hallway had the same aesthetic as the room; dark grey and green tron lines. Strip made his way down the hallway until he came upon another door that made itself into existence. As he started to peak into this new door, the old door and much of the hallway around Strip turned into walls. It was as if something or someone was trying to manipulate his movements, and trying to get him into that room. He stopped to have a serious think about his captor(s).

"Could it be aliens on board the ship (just like in the movies)? Could it be that the ship itself is alive?", Strip wondered to himself. WELL OF COURSE THE BLOODY SPACESHIP IS ALIVE! In a normal sci fi setting, "the ship is alive" would be a huge plot development that would have taken time to be built up to; but not here ladies and gentlemen! As we all know, the main gimmick with "Cars" is that the vehicles are self-contained living beings. Spaceships are vehicles, so they should be alive, right?

After establishing that his captor is probably the spaceship surrounding him, Strip decided it would be best to obey the spaceship rather than get crushed by its mystical changing walls. Inside of this new room, Strip was greeted with pleasant sight; the Mr. Fusion. The time machine was on top of a table of sorts (this table obviously made with dark grey metal and green tron lines), and had many glowing green wires stuck into it. Overjoyed to have found the Mr. Fusion, Strip raced over to it, unplugged the wires, and tried to put it back on. But before he could take it, another tractor beam, which had just come from a newly formed emitter in the wall, pulled the Mr. Fusion out of Strip's reach.

"Hey!", he finally lost his cool, "You give that back!". The spaceship did not give the time machine back. Instead, it formed a television screen out of one of the walls, and showed Strip a series of images: The Dinoco Racing and Speed development headquarters, the doorway to the top secret development section, a small black orb, a large explosion, a very large explosion, an apocalyptically large explosion, then several images of a flat, empty wasteland. Strip believed that the spaceship was trying to tell him something. Was it a warning? Of course it was a warning! Strip made the reasonable assumption that the orb was responsible for whatever that explosion was about. The orb was the macguffin.

The spaceship then released the Mr. Fusion. The spaceship had also added a display to the time machine that allowed Strip to tell when he was (you'd think that would come standard). The Mr. Fusion reattached itself to Strip. The room around him then morphed into a long hallway with enough space for Strip to time-jump.

"Why thank you!", the blue car said to the spaceship, and he began driving. Sparks enveloped Strip, and he was thrust somewhere (somewhen?) else in time. Like the Delorean from Back to the Future, Strip left little flame trails where his wheels were.


End file.
